


Safety Dance

by starkind



Series: Three Strong Hearts - A WonderIronBat Collection [5]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies), Wonder Woman (Movies - Jenkins)
Genre: Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Silly, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24342391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkind/pseuds/starkind
Summary: Pre-wedding shenanigans.It's all Diana's fault.(okay, and Tony's)
Relationships: Diana (Wonder Woman)/Tony Stark/Bruce Wayne
Series: Three Strong Hearts - A WonderIronBat Collection [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726759
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Safety Dance

The weekend before their unofficial wedding ceremony, Diana surprised her men with a particular request one Saturday evening.

“I want to go out.”

Tony looked at Bruce, who looked back just as puzzled before he glimpsed at his watch.

“For dinner?”

Diana shook her head and dropped between them onto Tony's couch. “For dancing. In a disco.” Tony gave a leisure stroke of his goatee. “Pretty sure it's called a club these days.” She rolled dark eyes at his teasing and propped an elbow up on the backrest of the sofa, blowing at a stray strand of her hair.

“I've heard about LA's huge nightlife scene. Jarvis has shown me videos and songs. I want to go somewhere they play those older songs and have one of those moving glitter balls on the ceiling.” Tony leaned in closer to be able to twirl one of those wavy strands around his index finger, watching it unfurl. “We do need some sort of stag party, that's true.”

Bruce, whom they had to severely bribe to stay the whole weekend, barring any emergency situation in Gotham, looked like refusal personified.

“I don't dance.”

It was the wrong thing to say, seeing it made Tony's whole facade lit up. “Ahhhh, matter of fact that's not true, snookums. Remember that one night in Miami? My gosh, how old were we? 17?” Bruce seemed to remember very well, judging by the sudden, interesting coloration on his cheeks.

“That was different. It was a graduation party.”

Tony nodded along in mock-understanding. He then turned to Diana, all cheeky.

“Give him a little booze and he turns into a lean, mean, dancing machine.”

Over Diana's growing excitement and Bruce's utter disappointment at Tony spilling the tea of centuries best forgotten, Tony consulted his AI.

“Jarvis, which retro dance clubs in LA are currently available?”

“The club located at 7813 Garvey Avenue currently has a 'Got 80s?' themed gathering every Saturday from 9 pm to 2 am.”

To Diana's enchanted clap, Tony grinned. “Sounds like a fun night out on town.” Bruce then made a final, desperate attempt at averting a crisis of national embarrassment and mortification. “I can drive you there but I won't come along. If Alfred calls, I have to be ready to leave at a moment's notice.” In a quick and nimble move, Diana moved to straddle his lap, putting her hands atop his pecs. “Please, Bruce. It's our stag night party.”

His gaze was analytical as he let it roam from her caressing motions up to her face.

“Stag night is for men only.”

She booped the tip of his nose.

“Don't be such a spoilsport.”

His mouth curved into a disdained arc. “I'm not the ideal company for tonight then.” Diana took his face in between her palms and thumbed gently along his cheekbones. “You are the only company we need. Tonight and in general. Please. I promise if anything happens in Gotham, I will take care of it. Promise.” She then sealed his scowl with a kiss to which Bruce's lips marginally turned more pliant by the second.

When she withdrew but stayed mere inches from him, she saw the facetious tug around his mouth. “Really.” Diana cocked her head and reached up with one hand to run it through his neatly coiffed hair. That fact that he let her concede without the faintest twitch or move of his head made her nod and smile. “Yes, and because I can't get drunk anyhow, I'll be sober and ready to intervene at any point.”

Her beaming joy and Tony's added enthusiasm managed to weaken even Bruce's hardest resolve.

“Fine. But we'll be back by midnight.”

~

It was 1:15 am, and the dance floor of the retro club was packed and grooving along to the sound of the Pointer Sisters. A delighted Diana was goofing around, limbs flying and completely uncaring about vanity moves like so many other good-looking women; having the time of her life.

To meet the party's required dress code, Tony had helped to style her hair in a big hairspray fashion. Together with a pair of over-knee legwarmers, white sneakers, and an oversized jersey sweater that doubled as a short dress, she truly embodied the 80s style despite being born many centuries before. She twirled around her two men, pointing at them while singing the chorus to a song she had just learned minutes ago.

“ _Jump! For my love! Jump in and feel my touch! Jump! if you want to taste my kisses in the night then - jump, jump for my love!”_

Tony was all smiles as he moved along in tune with her, looking every part the late 70s pimp-playboy with a pair of rose-tinted square shades, a white jacket a size too big, a tacky, huge gold chain and a Hawaiian-print shirt made from satin underneath. Its top buttons were open just enough to not expose his ARC, which had been wrapped in elastic bandages for extra safety and -if they were lucky- a night of blissful anonymity.

Bruce, after many rounds of back and fro, had eventually caved in and opted for the typical 80s sleazy yuppy banker look. He wore a striped business shirt with a contrasting tie and a pair of suspenders borrowed from the depths of Tony's closets, hair slicked back with loads of gel.

At first, he had remained standing at the sidelines of the dance floor, watching them shimmy around with a benign expression and a polite shake of the head whenever they made grabby moves into his direction. However, things changed after a round of drinks, with one of them not being Bruce's requested soda. Tony had dared, knowing not to underestimate his lover's ability to taste the difference of straight-up vodka on ice.

When Bruce continued to nip from it with only a single, stern glance his way, Tony knew things would be alright. As predicted, it did not take too long for Bruce to start bopping his head along to the music. Delighted, Tony then whispered into Diana's ear. “Here's your chance, darl. Go.” And when Diana tried her luck and pulled Bruce close to her to Billy Ocean's Caribbean Queen, all bright eyes and smile, he complied without protest.

Half an hour later, they all sang along the chorus to Ghostbusters together with the rest of the club goers, did a horrible rendition of Safety Dance, and Bruce surprised his lovers by busting out some moves to Footloose. They returned home at 3:30 in the morning, tired and ready to sleep in until the afternoon. Thanks to Jarvis' vigil on Gotham City's law enforcement radio system, the night had passed without any bigger incidents.

Having to nurse a grumpy Bruce's slight hangover was the price Diana and Tony both gladly ended up paying.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a song by The Men Without Hats from 1982. 
> 
> Diana is citing the Pointer Sisters' song 'Jump' (1983) which sounds like this:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyTVyCp7xrw
> 
> Inspo Diana's outfit:  
> https://i.pinimg.com/originals/00/cb/59/00cb598e5e76d26dfff84ae451c415b0.jpg
> 
> Inspo Tony:  
> https://c8.alamy.com/comp/MN64X2/hollywood-ca-august-09-actor-robert-downey-jr-attends-air-america-hollywood-premiere-on-august-9-1990-at-manns-chinese-theatre-in-hollywood-california-photo-by-barry-kingalamy-stock-photo-MN64X2.jpg
> 
> Inspo Bruce:  
> https://www.mobileyouth.org/wp-content/uploads/dress-up-as-patrick-bateman1.jpg


End file.
